The first day of freshman year, I sat in the car for fifteen minutes before gaining the courage to pull the door handle and step out into the world.
Actually, the situation went more like, my parents forcing me to get out and me trying to convince them to wait for five more minutes.
I watched as students piled through the front gate greeting their friends and making their way across campus. But me? I stood by the flagpole alone, scared to get lost as I deepened my slouch.
Now, a lot has changed in the past four years. I got rid of the slouch and I’m not afraid to get out of the car every morning. But most importantly, I learned that it is okay to be unsure and scared, it is what you do with that fear that matters.
For most of my life, I was indecisive. I always shied away when people asked the infamous question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I mean, I hardly knew what I wanted to eat for lunch, how was I supposed to know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life?
From what I’ve realized, all of that is okay. Freshman me was scared and nervous, afraid to put myself out into the world. What I know now is that, sometimes, people take longer to grow out of their shell, and that is completely okay.
It’s the constant efforts you make that will allow you to move forward.
There are a number of things that I didn’t think I would do in high school, like be president of Taekwondo Club or become addicted to snack mix.
I’ve always said that I want to get out of my comfort zone and be more confident, which stems from my journey to becoming black belt.
But, in truth, past all the loud ki-haps and kicks I did on the mats, I left all of that there. Outside of the studio, I didn’t reinforce the same mentality.
Of course there’s always the idea that you’re going to regret not joining the clubs you wanted to or not trying out for a certain class.
I believed the same, but after being a part of Rampage this year, I want to think that maybe this was just how things were supposed to be.
At first, I was reluctant to join. I wasn’t a fan of talking to people and, well, Rampage and I just sounded like a recipe for disaster. Besides my apprehension, I decided that if there was one new thing I would do senior year, it would be to try something despite how scared it made me feel.
Rampage looks to be miles away from my comfort zone, but it is also where I’ve been able to gain the most meaningful experiences.
I was able to meet the greatest UNO players of all time: Boiby, Alisob, Starchelle, Mrs.Styles1D and Trish.
But seriously, all jokes aside, I’m glad I joined Rampage this year.
I’ve met so many wonderful people, watching them grow through their struggles and shine at their high points, which makes me extremely proud to see how much they’ve grown in the span of a year.
The idea of starting from scratch and not being able to make friends was daunting.
But now, this is a bittersweet moment, where I’m thinking about the last banner I would be drawing with my illustrating buddy or the last jokes we’d make during late nights sitting at La Mesa—people who were merely strangers to me months ago.
I once thought that being scared was the worst thing possible, but now I know it’s a strength.
It has helped me learn more about who I am as a person and allowed me to recognize my fears.
Ultimately, it has taught me to break out of my shell.
Despite how scary life may seem, I’ve learned that putting myself out there makes me one step closer to achieving my dreams.
The same girl who wouldn’t get out of the car four years ago is now ready to take on the world.
TCHS School Newspaper