As citizens all over the country begin to gently place their ballot into boxes that contain the name of our future president, I am shocked and appalled that nationwide, we as women are still forced to vote.
It would be in everyone’s best interest if we were to spend our time baking pies and making sandwiches, rather than wasting time filling out silly ballots for this election. We need to invest our time staying in shape and maintaining our feminine charm, so we don’t end up looking like Ms. Piggy.
ASBL should dismiss female students from voting in ASB elections, so that we can focus on getting prepared for more important things like the Miss Temple City pageant. Our image is obviously the most important aspect of our existence; without our appearance the female population would be virtually meaningless. It is such an honor that men take the time out of their day to call out to us on streets and in the workplace and flatter us with sweet words expressing their attraction.
If we as women continue to be responsible for decisions pertaining to the government, disaster will surely ensue, how are we supposed to make informed decisions when we’re continuously moody and on our periods?
Trust me here boys, we don’t WANT to vote. We as women, wish only to stick to our respective gender roles, and remain as caretakers and mothers, always making sure to support men’s endeavours. We don’t have time to vote in elections anyway, all of our time is dedicated to looking for a man to marry and settle down with. Women can barely form their own opinions, we don’t want to have to deal with something so complicated as the future of our government.
Please, take pity on us women, and repeal the 19th amendment.