Virginity is a weird topic for me. It’s only going to get weirder, because I live in a fairly liberal society and traditional house.
Everyone tells me different things.
They’ve told me save myself for marriage. Sex is a sacred thing—something so valuable that only my future husband should have with me. If I lose my virginity before I meet the one, I’ll be all used up. Dirty, tainted, degraded, worthless. I’ll lose my soulmate simply because I made the mistake of giving myself away to someone that didn’t deserve it in the past.
They’ve also told me that virginity is some made up concept meant to shame me. It’s my body, and I can do whatever I want with it. I don’t have to save my virginity for my future husband and act like I wouldn’t like sex otherwise. Sexual desires are human—why deny them? If someone doesn’t want me simply because I’m not a virgin, he can’t be the one for me.
To make things more confusing, there are a dozen other variations that people say. “Save sex for someone you love.” Or, “who cares if you have it on the first date?” It’s all too much to try to figure out. You have sex, and you’re a slut. You abstain from sex, and you’re a prude. There doesn’t seem to be a nice middle ground to stay in.
I still don’t know how I feel about the concept of virginity. It really is a difficult thing to think about, so I admire the people that have chosen their stance and stood by it. All I know about myself now is that sex isn’t something that I want to throw around. At the same time, I know that I want the idea that sex doesn’t make a person more or less valuable. It doesn’t matter if sex is a hobby or a treasure to you; no one should feel like a chewed up piece of gum for having sex.
In the end, if you decide to save yourself, you’re not a prude. You’re not a coward, and you’re not anti-feminist. If you decide that virginity isn’t a big deal, you’re not a slut either. You’re not contaminated, and you’re not unwanted. Stick to your values, and be proud of them. Eventually I’ll figure out my own values too.