Ask me on any day, and I’ll tell you that I prefer a deep question over small talk.
Just the other day, my friend came over and we found ourselves consumed in conversation for a consecutive three hours. Afterwards, she recounted her surprise at the fact that we received so much enjoyment from such a simple activity. That’s when I realized just how much many people undermine the importance of asking questions that reach past the surface.
In fact, I suddenly recognized the my recent activities during winter break. I found myself enjoying myself the most when I could just spend some heartfelt moments with my friends, instead of feeling obligated to participate in some spectacular activity. I loved that what originally was a Tennis Movie Night transformed into a round-table discussion of college experiences, funny stories and life tips from some of my favorite alumni. Don’t get me wrong, I love Disneyland, but sometimes focusing on doing something can take away from actually getting to know people.
It definitely doesn’t help that with the popularization of Snapchat and selfies, people continually feel obligated to update their friends on what they’re doing. Now, whenever I see a friend take out his/her phone, I almost feel scared that this will take away from the conversation. And, many times it definitely does.
In a world where we have over a thousand “friends,” at least according to Facebook, the quantity seems to be more important than the quality. I find myself snapchatting a friend instead of calling to ask how they are. This encouragement of impersonalness causes it to be even more difficult to develop a meaningful relationship since many times it almost seems out of the norm. People don’t seem to be seeking friends, just people who will consistently like their profile pictures or be their “best friend” on Snapchat.
I feel that a deeper relationship is not too much to ask for from a friendship. I remember when I first began getting to know my friends better as I matured. Because of the questions I asked, I began to understand what getting to know someone really meant. I finally understood how they thought and how they felt, getting beyond just what they enjoy and basic facts.
Remember, when in doubt, just ask hypothetical questions that seem very, very far into the future. It’s sure to keep your friends up at night, confused and inspired by your courage to ask.
TCHS School Newspaper