“If you’re wondering what to get me, I really want insert-item-here!” While some people might not be bothered in the slightest by this remark, it has always struck a nerve with me. I’m not against holiday gift giving; however, I am against the idea of fulfilling someone’s shopping list. In fact, the more I feel pressured to buy a specific item I get repeatedly asked for, the less motivation I have to satisfy that request.
There should be no demands in gift giving. There should be no requests. When our relationship is at the point where we have to give each other a list of gift ideas and say pick one, something has gone terribly wrong.
The whole idea of gift giving is to give someone you care about a meaningful present. Time and effort should be behind a carefully selected gift. The best presents are those that make you think of someone, whether it be a new book by a favorite author, a favorite seasonal lotion or even a homemade item. While I realize that it can be challenging to come up with creative gift ideas, those are the gifts that are the most treasured.
At its worst, gift giving has not only become thoughtless, but it is perceived as an obligation. The unwritten rule is reciprocity: for every gift you receive, you must return the favor at an equal or greater value, preferably with a gift receipt. It is no longer the thought that counts, but whether you spent as much as the other person spent.
Retailers make this type of shopping easy. Walk in to Sephora and you’ll find a packaged set of five lotions, or step into Bath and Body Works where you can buy three and get three free…who cares what the product is. Buying a gift set of ten lip glosses and dividing them among your ten “closest friends” is a smart buy and keeps you within your budget, but there is little originality in a generic purchase of that nature. At that point, people should be wondering why they’re giving gifts.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that a gift needs to be expensive to be appreciated. But if you find yourself buying presents for the wrong reasons, take a break from gift giving and refrain from making forced and careless purchases. Perhaps what is most important to remember is that the holidays are not merely a time for presents. Remember what is important: spending time with family and friends and enjoying the holidays.