*Disclaimer* This article is not making fun of certain ethnic groups, only using exaggeration to make a humorous point.
Jessica Meza
Opinion Editor
A sex tape, ample assets and an affinity for making hideous faces while crying: Kim Kardashian has definitely got my endorsement for the mayor of Glendale.
On April 21, Kardashian expressed serious interest in becoming the mayor of Glendale on her sister’s reality show, saying, “it’s, like, Armenian town.” The fact that she’s probably one of the most famous Armenian-Americans makes her about perfect for the job.
Celebrities are no strangers to public office. Consider our Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Former President Ronald Reagan, who were both celebrities before their political careers. But their experience is nothing when compared to Kim Kardashian’s natural talent and superior intelligence.
Among her many qualifications that include sex tape stardom, being famous for no reason and recording a song that everyone forgot after three days, she is completely hairless.
“I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal!” She once famously said, “Arms, bikini, legs, underarms… my entire body is hairless.” After all, the smoothness of one’s skin is most definitely an indication of one’s leadership abilities.
Additionally, a mayor of a city definitely needs to be committed to his or her city. After all, who wants a mayor that would leave his or her city hanging during a crisis? Kim Kardashian definitely fulfills this requirement; I mean, she’s only been married twice. And her latest marriage lasted a whopping 72 days. That’s more than two months!
Just imagine how the city of Glendale would look after Mayor Kardashian takes office. Everyone would eat fabulous meals, smell good and look stylish. Who needs a mayor that actually takes care of a city when every bed in Glendale could double as a tanning bed and plastic surgery clinics could replace grocery stores?
Not only that, but she definitely knows her way around the business world too. She and her sisters have their own fabulous clothing line at Sears and another one on the popular television shopping network QVC. So while your parents buy a new set of power tools, you can pick up some clothes from the Kardashian clothing line.
Unfortunately, there’s no way that Kardashian can directly become the mayor because elected city council members decide who, among them, becomes the next mayor of Glendale. However, because of her ample qualifications and her Armenian descent, the odds may certainly be in her favor when the time comes for her to run for city council.