Homecoming, Winter Formal, Prom. Dances are a rite of passage. First, students outdo each other vying for the most original way to ask someone to the dance. Next, students transform themselves with glamorous formal wear. Boys employ hair gel and a tie, and girls don smokey eyes and an up-do until they are almost unrecognizable. Then, they begin the evening relaxing with friends and nibbling on snacks, swept away by the thematic decor and a backdrop of twinkling stars. Until the grinding, which can’t even be called dancing, breaks the spell.
At the recent Homecoming dance, it became clear that our generation has some serious misconceptions about what constitutes dancing. This year, the administration censored the music more than usual. Songs with suggestive or inappropriate lyrics were banned. “Firework” by Katy Perry and “Beat It” by Michael Jackson replaced “Bottoms Up” by Trey Songz and “Strip” by Chris Brown.
As a result, close to 50 students left the dance early, grumbling that the music sucked. But the truth is, it was not the music that sucked, but students’ attitudes about the kind of music they needed to do the type of dancing they came to do. It’s as though the only reason those students attended the dance was to grind, and once that was taken away there was no point in staying.
Grinding has spread like a fungus at school dances. I don’t believe that students’ main concern, especially at a high school dance, should be sexualizing their dancing. Dances are part of school life. The question that comes to mind is: if students don’t grind against each other in public during the school day, why do they think it is acceptable at a public school dance? Our school is not alone in requiring students to sign a dance agreement and follow a dress code, so it’s not as if anyone can pretend not to know the rules.
Dances should be about listening to music, dancing and talking with friends. Exchanging compliments about this girl’s shoes or that guy’s bowtie, noticing how amazing that girl from math class looks and eating whatever specialty the food truck offers should be the focus.
As someone who has never danced dirty, I can assure you that having a great time at a dance does not require grinding. At Homecoming, I hung out in the senior circle chatting with friends, tasted some amazing Greek chicken skewers, sang along, without shame and probably off-key, to “Treasure” by Bruno Mars and danced with my boyfriend when “Suavemente” by Elvis Crespo played.
I applaud the administration for raising the bar and trying to clean up our dances. This time the adults have it right. Instead of getting a wristband cut as a warning when a student is caught dirty dancing, s/he should be immediately escorted off the dance floor for the night and a parent should be notified. Call me prudish or a killjoy, but grinding isn’t part of the legacy I want to be remembered for in the future. I believe the administration should hold their ground: grinding will not be tolerated.