By Viviam Liao
Newsletter Editor
Looking at my outward appearance, I am an average Asian girl. I am expected to be a perfect student, skilled at playing the piano and an aspiring engineer or doctor. While I do play the piano, I don’t get straight A’s and I dream of studying plants. But, no one will know that just by looking at me.
People are quick to judge others based on appearance and even swifter to hide their true selves behind a mask of false identities because they fear others’ opinions of them. We are so eager to categorize people into different groups and unintentionally create general stereotypes for them. People shouldn’t be afraid to feel comfortable in their own skin and we should all be more welcoming of each other’s opinions, beliefs and preferences.
As teenagers, friends and social life are an incredibly big part of our identity. We feel the peer pressure to follow the online trends or fit into the stereotypes that parents drill into us. We shouldn’t wear a superficial mask and pretend that we are something that we aren’t just to gain the approval of others. Our community should be a safe space for people to be themselves without the fear of disdain from others.
For example, with certain friends, I will omit the fact that I am religious because I fear the assumptions that people will make based on Christian stereotypes. While it makes the friendship run smoothly for a period of time, it isn’t healthy for the relationship as I am hiding crucial parts of me that make me unique. As a result of denying my identity, I leave the other person ignorant, creating a false sense of stability in the friendship, believing in an image of a person that isn’t quite complete. The friendships that I’ve had with a superficial foundation have fallen apart in due time because neither of us could trust the other enough with our true selves.
Many will argue that having a false persona is necessary for good first impressions, but why should someone change themselves to fit into another person’s preferences? People should accept others the way they are because we are all different. Each of our personal experiences shapes our thoughts and personality and that’s what makes us unique. There should be no need to completely change one’s appearance or behaviors in order to fit in. So while good impressions are important to make, show your true self and see if they accept that part of you. If they don’t, you shouldn’t change to fit their standards, instead respect their opinion and leave.
Many teenagers fear being left out and therefore begin to judge others for looking or dressing differently to agree with their friends. But instead of forming baseless opinions and creating unfair judgements of others, I believe we should try getting to know each other and find the person underneath the layers of expectations and stereotypes. In doing so, we will find that many of us share common interests, something that is hidden behind our superficial masks.
Appearances tell very little about a person; you can see dark or light hair, brown or blue eyes, but you don’t know their personality. It’s wrong to judge based on what you see as you don’t know their preferences, experiences or opinions. On the other hand, it’s unfair to hide your true identity from others and hide under what you think others will like. Embrace yourself, accept others and be open-minded to all.