Finding my way out of high school: the finale

By Eizen Yap
Graduating Senior

“There’s still so much to learn / So many dreams to earn / But even if I crash and burn ten times a day / I think I’m here to stay / I’m gonna find my way”

I could never be as much of a girl boss as Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde,” nor will I be an ace attorney like in the game franchise of the same name. But I have evidence to believe that I’ve found my way throughout high school. I just know that my middle school self didn’t realize how much she would achieve, learn, and change in the span of four years. 

 I had no idea that I would be participating in any contests, much less win awards in photography and art. I didn’t think I would ever date or know that there were people out there that had a crush on me (my childhood dream come true). I didn’t have bright-eyed starry ambitions or expectations, so when I found myself starting DND Club and joining Rampage my junior year I was completely surprised to find a place where I belonged.

To see my name in black and white after an illustration or a photo I took felt like I was doing something right. I was finally able to show my art to everyone without the inauthenticity of marketing myself online. The shock of having to run down the stairs to grab a piece of paper saying you’ve won first place or holding the weight of a medal is something I’ll never forget either.

I’m so grateful that I got the overwhelming support and validation I’ve craved ever since I started my passion for drawing in Ms. Lee’s third grade class. It’s kind of crazy how Hailey Chau and a buffalo drawing I drew from a National Geographic magazine after standardized testing turned into occasionally doing commissions and other interesting projects. I don’t think I would have gotten this far in my artistic journey if I didn’t have people saying it was good when it wasn’t. Art has always been such an integral part of my life and I don’t know where I would be without it.

And while I’m guilty of crashing and burning through a couple of semesters and failing quite a bit, I am so much better than before because I was able to get through the best and worst of high school. 

Senior year was arguably the most difficult time in my life. My blood was in the water and my mental health at the end of junior year was only deteriorating. Starting school without last year’s seniors plus the pressure of having adult responsibilities only made it worse. Countless hours were spent hopelessly stressing over my future career while gaining testimonies from adults who’ve figured it out at the same time. Even now I’m still wondering if I’m making the right choices or not. But if Elle Woods was able to change her path, and was highly successful anyways, it gives me a small hope that I might be able to do the same. 

I’ve been whipped into shape from tackling the DMV, depression and drama, and I’ve risen from the ashes by doing so. It shouldn’t be legal how insufferable and draining the DMV can be but we get through it anyways. But because of these hardships and the therapy I was able to spend the time improving whats inside my head. I found my way of coping through life’s stresses and got through the burnout, and if it weren’t for the trials and tribulations, all the joyful memories and the people who supported me through all of it I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. 

But of course, I’ve barely begun, and I’m hardly through my life’s journey. The future is taking off, and I have no doubts that I’ll achieve, learn and change more things in college or wherever life takes me. It’s hard to say what’ll happen next, but I mean look how far I have come without anyone holding my hand? I had to find my way.