By Sophia Moreno
Staff Writer
Spring is most commonly associated with the start of life, but when young life begins, older life passes.
As a child, I didn’t have much experience with death. I knew that it was real, but I never knew the toll it could have on me. Now, I find myself surrounded by more loss, an experience I had never dealt with in the past.
Although death is a natural occurrence, it still deeply affects us, especially when we aren’t warned of the toll it puts on our mental health.
At 11, my oldest uncle passed away unexpectedly. It was my first loss inside of my main family. I didn’t know what to do or how to process it, so instead of taking my time to process my grief, I pushed my feelings away. It was the beginning of the school year, and I felt like I couldn’t let this hold me back. I kept pushing and pushing, until I found myself overwhelmed with grief. I suffered through serious mood swings as well as major depression. I had never dealt with bereavement and as a result, my mental health decreased significantly.
A study supported by the National Library of Medicine showed that on average, a third of 12 to 19-year-olds in the study who experienced the death of a loved one reported long-lasting effects from grief such as confusion, guilt, shock, depression and anger. However, once they learned to deal with emotional responses to death, the amount of severe grief became less acute.
This is key evidence that in order to properly process grief, we must be aware of the severity it can cause and have a support system in place. We must also learn that it is OK to take breaks and slow down when serious issues arise.
The first step to dealing with grief is being aware of it. Our minds might take weeks or months to fully process that someone is forever gone. It took three months to fully comprehend that my uncle was gone, and even then I would still forget, and that’s OK. For some, acknowledging is as far as they can go.
For others, it might be best to communicate with your teachers and parents of your ongoing or possible struggles with someone whose life is coming to an end. Setting up a support system will help you in the long run. Not only are you making yourself aware of your bereavement, you are letting others know that these next months might be difficult for you, allowing teachers and parents to have sympathy.
When dealing with loss, I now communicate with my teachers of my ongoing struggles. I also discuss with my parents the concerns I might face in the future. I take time to process my emotions, whether that be days or months, and I remind myself to go slower.
My brain is already preoccupied with emotions from death, so it’ll take me a longer time to complete daily tasks that might have been easy to me in the past, and that’s OK. What should matter most is my mental and physical health.
Death is inevitable, but just because it’s inevitable doesn’t mean it’s easy to process. Knowing this certainty, we should set precautions for the future grief we’ll deal with.